Post Awakening Cleanup, Introduction

I posted that series of letters, written a couple of years ago, to begin to relate my experience of the confusion that developes after a powerful transformation. I had changed, yet people around me were used to seeing the same old Wayne that I was before the change.

They relied on me being that same old Wayne. They expected me to be who they were used to me being. They could not understand why I was acting and talking like someone different and could no longer relate to them in the same old way while I was walking around with this newly applied spiritual veneer.

On the flip side, I had just walked through a powerful set of spiritual and psychological experiences, experiences that they had never encountered and often questioned whether or not what I was attempting to relate to them was real. Questioned whether or not I had gone off the deep end. I felt like Magellan trying to convince people that the world is round. There laid my first step of difficulties. In an act to attempt to explain and justify how I was thinking and acting, I was humbely saying that I had been wrong, but I was also aggresively saying that they were all wrong too. “Your thinking is flawed, what I have discovered is true.”

This was the first difficulty I faced after my initial awakening. I was excited about what I had learned and my ego was taking me into new heights of loftiness. Then I became upset that not many other people were buying the package that I was beating them over the head with. Then, in frustration, my ego took me to even loftier heights as I became convinced that I was the only one who could see what I was seeing. I became angry, and while walking around with my new name tag saying “Highly Advanced Spiritual Being”, I began to see everyone around me as an idiot. I thought I was “THERE”. oh my oh my oh my

Does this sound familiar?

What I didn’t understand at the time, is that who I was actually angry at was myself. I didn’t yet understand that the aspects I saw in them, their thinking, motivations and ways of life that made me so angry, was actually the anger that I felt for myself for living that same way for most of my life. I wasn’t “There.” I wasn’t at a place I could call “The End.” I was at the beginning of what I now call the “Post Awakening Cleanup.”

Much More to Follow!